Bitch!

You: Hi bitch

Stranger: Hi

Stranger: dont call me names meanie

You: Can you be my bitch?

Stranger: yes

Stranger: i mean

Stranger: no

You: eheheeeeh

Love's in the air!

You: hi
Stranger: I love you
You: m or f?
Stranger: m
You: marry me
Stranger: dammit
You: i'm f
Stranger: what!!!!!!!!!!1
You: damit??
Stranger: where you from?
You: the house next to yours
You: i'm seing you by the window
Stranger: IDK what to say
Stranger: no your not lol
You: yes i am
Stranger: really
Stranger: cause
I dont see you
You: but i see you
Stranger: what am i doing right now
You: craching your balls
You: scratching
Stranger: wow lucky guess
Stranger: lol
You: lol
You: and now you are looking at the computer waiting for my answer
Stranger: hahahaha good one
You: i'm seing you
Stranger: how old are you
You: you don't know?
Stranger: no
You: guess
Stranger: 20
You: noooo
Stranger: 22
You: noooooooooo
You: i'm 97
You: Bye
Stranger: 19
Stranger: wait really asl
You have disconnected.

afk brb

You: afk brb
Stranger: oh sure...
(a couple of minutes....)
You: YOU BELIVE IT SUCKER
You have disconnected.

__________________________

ou: afk brb
Stranger: lol ok
You: Hi
Stranger: hey lol
You: i had to go pee
Stranger: lol fun?
You: making pee? sure!
Stranger: bahaha
You: what?
Stranger: i have no idea
You: ohh wait i have to go there again...
You: afk brb
Stranger: lol ok
You: I'm with diarrea...
Stranger: that sucks
You: yeah...
Stranger: so about those tits....
You: age?
Stranger: 19
You: wow
You: me too
Stranger: O_O
Stranger: meant to be xD
You: O_o
You: yeah
Stranger: yeaaaaah
You: you don't want to talk?
Stranger: oh i do
You: hurry... the diarria will show up soon
Stranger: lol i was about to say pics but then you said diarreha and that could be easily misunderstood
You: lol yeah
You: of couse
You: i'll send them from the mobile
You: number?
Stranger: here send em to my email actually, my phone is currently dead
Stranger: (e-mail)
(...)
Stranger: woots i got owned
Stranger: lolz
You: you got it?
Stranger: you should have picked a better owned pic, imo
Stranger: i saw it coming, but theres always that sliver of hope lol
You have disconnected.

It's over 9000!1!1!1!1!1!1!1

You: What the scouter says about his power level?
Stranger: Cadê o Chinelo ?
You: tá enfiado no teu cú
You have disconnected.
_____________________________

You: What the scouter says about his power level?
Stranger: ITS OVER
Stranger: 9000!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________


You: What the scouter says about his power level?
Stranger: well
Stranger: i wouldn't know
Stranger: sorry, but ignorance is power!
You: YOUR IGNORANCE LEVEL IS OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: you're funyyy
Stranger: eheheh
You: YOU'RE NOT
You: EHEHEHEHEEH
Stranger: I'm not here to amuse you
Stranger: so, tell me something interesting
You: something interesting -> FUCK YOU
You have disconnected.

_____________________________________


You: What the scouter says about his power level?
Stranger: hi ron!
You: Hi stupidity
Stranger: i tramp!
You: you are tramp? i already knew that
Stranger: don't slef pitty yourself you GOAT!!!!
You: BITCH
Stranger: GO EAT SOME GRASS
You: GO EAT SHIT
Stranger: FEILDS THAT WAY >>>
Stranger: :)
You: SHIT IS ALL OVER YOU
Stranger: bye ron
You: BYE BITCH

CS Fan!

Stranger: Hi!
You: The bomb as been planted!
You: 5
You: 4
You: 3
You: 2
You: 1
Stranger: COOL! BLOW ME
You: BOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Stranger: YEAAH

Bruce's Pizzeria

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hi
You: Hi there I would like to place an order
Stranger: yes
You: do you guys deliver?
Stranger: yes
You: good
Stranger: what would it be ?
You: 2 extra large pepperony pizza's
Stranger: ok
Stranger: it will be there in 15 min
You: ok then
You: thanks
Stranger: *15 minutes past*
You: no they didn't, even a minute
Stranger: ?
You: the 15 minutes
Stranger: i dont understand sir
Stranger: play the game :D
You: what game? is it a offer?
Stranger: no play the game
Stranger: the 15 min will be in no time over
You: um...the number said Bruce's Pizzeria...not game store
Stranger: play youre game sir
Stranger: like helf life or something
Stranger: half*
You: helf life?
Stranger: half life sir
You: where is my pizza?
Stranger: the 15 min are not over sir
You: look if you guys don't deliver it i'll go to luiggi's, we both know that you guy's hate them
Stranger: nonono
Stranger: it will be there in 5 min if he`s late we`ll charge it for free
You: good
Stranger: and i will fire the guy
You: ok then
You: i'll wait
Stranger: goodby sir and call again please
You: no
You: i won't
You: you'r late
Stranger: =( its for free sir
Stranger: and i will fire the guy
You: this is it
You: i'll go to luiggi's
You: bye!
Stranger: bye

___________________________________________________



You: Hi there, i would like to place an order
Stranger: Alright sir/ma'am whenever ur ready
You: do you guys deliver?
Stranger: Yes we do
You: good the, i want 2 extra large pepperoni pizza's
Stranger: Sir we don't carry Extralarge
Stranger: We have small medium large and BIG
You: ok, then Big
Stranger: Alrighty would u like any other toppings? Free of charge
You: no, thanks
Stranger: Okay anything else?
You: No, nothing else
You: ohhh wait
Stranger: Okay ur overall charge will be...
You: my husband wants a Cesar Salad
Stranger: Oh okay, no problem
Stranger: Ur overall charge will be...
Stranger: ...
Stranger: ...
Stranger: A blowjob
You: um...the number said Bruce's Pizzeria...not pervets store
Stranger: This is bruces pizziara I'm just horny
You: well, i guess i'm going Luiggi's and we both know that you guys hate them
Stranger: Lol okay
You: are you sure you'r from Bruce pizzeria?
Stranger: Yes
You: Say your name to tell this happening to the manager
Stranger: Bernie macintire
You: ok, you'll be FIRED
Stranger: WHY?!?
You: Because you are a pervet to your clients
Stranger: No I'm not a pervert
Stranger: What are u not turned on?
You: Yes you are
You: no, i'm not
Stranger: Well wat would I have to do to turn u on?
You: Nothing, because i don't like pervets
You: Bye, i'll go to Luiggi's
Stranger: Oh well I hope u know this is a joke!
You: what????
Stranger: Are u serious
You: aren't you from Bruce's Pizzeria????
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

________________________________________________



You: Hi there, i would like to place an order
Stranger: hi what order then
You: can you guys deliver?
Stranger: maybe
You: i live 5 minutes from your store
You: By the mall
Stranger: alright
You: I want 2 pepperoni pizza's
You: extralarge
Stranger: :D alright what else
You: Nothing else, i think
Stranger: fine .. will take us just 20 mins
You: Ok then
You: ohhh
You: wait
You: I want a Cesar Salad too
Stranger: which dressing
You: Anyone.. i like them all
You: Your choice
Stranger: okay cocktail
You: Coca-cola and a 7up
Stranger: alright
You: How much it will be?
Stranger: 13 euros
You: That's pretty cheap!
You: I'll recomend that place to my friends
Stranger: yes we are cheap very fast and very delicious
You: Good.
You: It'll be much longer to get here?
Stranger: you think so?
You: I was asking
You: I'm at the door, as I see the man I'll say to him that's me
Stranger: okay ill tell him
You: Good
Stranger: just 15 minutes left
You: If you son't mind i'll end the phone call, it's turning very expensive and the delivery guy it's almost here, so...
Stranger: no problem enjoy your meal
You: Just one more thing
Stranger: yes please
You: If he doesn't deliver i'll go to Luiggi's and we both know how much you hate them
Stranger: yes thats right we both know but you can count on me
You: You are so nice that i'll talk to the manager to promove you
Stranger: very kind of you.. so well end up here ..see you soon ! bye bye
You: Waait
Stranger: what else?
You: Just more too minutes and the time is over...
You: *two
Stranger: yes but you have to wait at the door remember?
You: i'm at my laptop...
You: I already said that i was at the door
You: the time is over!!!
Stranger: oh yes theres just one problem
You: What??
Stranger: im the one who delivers so i havent got a laptop
Stranger: and i first get out of here to bring your pizzas
You: Then why were you talking to me??
Stranger: you didnt let me end
You: I WANT MY FUCKING PIZZA
You: NOW
Stranger: alright you ll get it so bye and have a nice evening
You: No
You: forget it
You: I'll go to Luiggi's
You: and buy a lot of PIZZA's

911 number please!

Stranger: hi

You: Can you tell me the number of 911?

Stranger: yes

Stranger: it's 911

You: why?

Stranger: 'cos of penguins

You: ohhhh

You: thanks

Stranger: u r welcome :D

Parvónia

You: hi
Stranger: hi!
You: I'm from Parvonia
Stranger: oh
Stranger: i'm from korea
Stranger: do you like korea?
You: yes and you? do you like Parvonia?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: i like there
Stranger: parvonia is where?
Stranger: usa?
You: don't you know?
Stranger: yes.
You: you said that it was nice there
Stranger: i heard there
Stranger: but
You: it's in USA yes
Stranger: ahahaha
Stranger: yes
Stranger: do you like baseball?
You: yeah
You: didn't you ever heard about Parvonia's baseball team?
Stranger: yes

The divorce

You: Honey

You: will you cook dinner?

Stranger: belive me, you don't want to

You: but i'll work late...

You: and our kids?

Stranger: so now we have kids? :P

You: don't yiou remember john and sara???

You: do you have amnesia?

Stranger: yeah :(

You: then how did you knew the time to come here and talk to me?

Stranger: eeeh... good timing?

You: you know what? i'm sick of this pranks i'll ask divorce

You: and i keep Sara

Stranger: but I don't want john, he's too fat!

You: did you ever lokked to a mirror?

Stranger: actually, i did

You: didn't you broke it already?

Stranger: no, ofcourse not.

Stranger: well, I guess this is the end then... bye!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger, what a comun name...

Stranger: hey

You: you have a strange name

You: a lot of people in here have the same name...

Stranger: ?

Stranger: what do u mean

Stranger: u dont know my name

You: stranger

You: isn't it?

Stranger: u are a retard

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Why?

You: HI

Stranger: hawaii?

You: WHY?

Stranger: oh

You: WHY?

Stranger: HI = Hawaii

You: WHY?

Stranger: someone decided that all states should have 2 letter abbreviations

Stranger: HI is hawaii

You: WHY??

Stranger: i dont' know, probably for the post office

You: WHY?

Stranger: perhaps to improve efficiency

You: WHY?

Stranger: efficiency is important

You: WHY?

Stranger: it saves money and in this context, it's important to taxpayers to have a public mail system that is cost effective and efficient

You: WHY?

Stranger: people like money

You: WHY??

Stranger: i don't know, people have place importance on it

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Knock, knock

You: Hi

Stranger: Hibatanö!... [Hello!...]

You: knock knock

Stranger: Who's there?...

You: disco :D

Stranger: Disco who?...

You: disco-nnected

You have disconnected.

Paul, the parrot

You: Hi

Stranger: hello

You: hello

Stranger: from?

You: from?

Stranger: U first

Stranger: please

You: U first

You: please

Stranger: china

You: china

Stranger: really

Stranger: /

Stranger: ?

You: really

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Pimp

You: Hi

Stranger: hi

You: are you a hore?

Stranger: yes iam

You: can i be your pimp?

Stranger: sure thing hon

Your conversational partner has disconnected.